Of Right And Wrong
by Magister Equitum
Summary: Where had she gone wrong? How had she come to be here, sitting at her desk, nursing a glass bowl of rainbow flavored candies with a pounding head and a guilty heart? Megan's thoughts during Thirteen. Spoilers for Thirteen.


**Disclaimer: **All rights to Numb3rs and its characters belong to CBS and the producers. That includes Megan's jar of multi-colored candies.

**Author's Notes: **Spoilers for last night's episode, Thirteen. Which by the way has to be the most original episode that they have done in a long time. Kudos to our lovely producers over at CBS for giving us that.

Thanks to Newgal for once again being my beta tester.

_Enjoy_

* * *

Just how far had she traveled down that dark path to get to this point?

Where had she gone wrong?

How had she come to be here, sitting at her desk, nursing a glass bowl of rainbow flavored candies with a pounding head and a guilty heart?

How could she have gotten to the point where nothing reached her? Where words of comfort from her boyfriend went through one ear and out the other, touching nothing inside of her. Where the empathetic murmurs from a fellow team member came up empty despite their attempt to appease her conscious. And where the help of her boss and friend had only served to make her angry instead of grateful.

None of those things, the words from her boyfriend, teammate, or friend, had reached her. Everything was wrong. She had been wrong.

Memories of her assignment with the Department of Justice and recent interrogation of Clay Porter haunted her as she sat behind her desk, hiding from the other members of the team and the world. Snippets of past conversations, more so done on her part, replayed over and over again, like a bad record or a repeat button on a disc player.

"…_Don't tell me that you don't see her face every night, staring at you, begging you to stop!"_

"_I don't think I can do this anymore."_

Megan blinked. She shook her head, shaking the memories in a vain, pleading gesture to make them go away. Slowly, her hand dipped down into the bowl again, and her fingers came up with several round candies. They were of different colors, and she found that if she looked at them, then she could avoid the accusations flowing throughout her mind. Red. Green. Yellow. Orange.

"…_Can't do this anymore."_

Where had she gone wrong? That was where she had gone wrong. When she had told Colby that she had thought that she could handle the task asked of her by the DOJ, Megan hadn't been lying. Not wanting to do it in the first place, she had rationalized, upon seeing that she really had no choice, that she could do the required task.

She had been wrong. Pushing and pushing to hit that final nerve before setting a person off in order to get the answers was what she had done. And she had been good at it, just as she had been good at almost getting the confession out of Clay Porter. That is until Don had stopped her. Ultimately, she was grateful that he had. No one in the DOJ had reined her in, pulling her out before she crossed that line. That hadn't been what they had wanted or what they had been looking for.

Being good at it had been the scariest part. She was not a fool or arrogant enough to think that she was the greatest profiler out there, but she knew that she was an exceptional one. Her personal request by the DOJ had said enough. No, she had been good at pushing. Perhaps too good at it and unlike her boast to herself that the task could be handled, it hadn't been. The human ramifications had hit her hard, the guilt at causing pain hurting her and making her feel sorry for horrible criminals that deserved none of her guilt.

Refusing to stand up and say that she couldn't handle the task had been where she had gone wrong. Megan knew that. Instead of continuing to go along with it for the rest of her six weeks, she should have said no.

But she hadn't said no, and now those ramifications had come back to haunt her again. It had first happened with Colby's ordeal with everyone thinking that he had been a traitor. Already having witnessed first hand the true evils of what their government really did, the Janus List had been icing to the cake. Relief had been given when Colby had been cleared and she had relaxed somewhat.

However, the events of this case had brought it all back. Desperate for a way to save their next victim, it had been all too easy for her to slip back and push Clay Porter, trying to find his hot button. She had wanted a confession so much, and it had ultimately blinded her to the fact that it wasn't Clay Porter at all that was responsible for the killings. He had been a victim as well.

Megan had been wrong. Oh, she had been wrong about cases before, but then it had usually been something small that she instantly was able to correct. Not this time. This time she had been very wrong. Wrong about Clay Porter, wrong when stepping across that line, and wrong when she had taken one step further across that same line.

Her words to Don when she had lashed out at his statement that she had crossed the line with the interrogation had been wrong. He hadn't deserved that. As her boss, she should have never said those things to him, and as a friend she shouldn't have thrown that guilt back into his face over the Crystal Hoyle deal, especially when he had only done that to save her life.

Even though they had found the true killer for the apostle killings, discovering that the real killer had been the tattoo artist from David's first canvas of the joint, things still seemed so wrong. Not only was Megan still wrong about her handling of her left over issues with the DOJ and her horrible exchange with Don, but the problem of Colby and his true place was still wrong. Colby was working better with them now, but the question of whether he was staying or leaving was still shrouded in mystery.

Megan spied Don as he came through the bull pen, weaving his way alongside with Colby and David. This was her chance to make one thing right. She could start with this.

Standing as he neared her desk, Megan smiled, her bowl of candies coming with her. "Hey, Don…"

He stopped at the open side of the cubicle, moving slightly back as she exited to stand beside him. "Hey," he said and she couldn't detect any form of resentment or anger in his words. That was what made him a great friend and boss. He had already forgiven her, recognizing the out of character behavior as a problem that she needed to fix herself.

"About yesterday," she started, still wanting to say something to make up for her words.

"Don't sweat it," he beat her to it, dismissing the awkwardness that was bound to have followed her apology. A sudden thought came over his face, and Don put an arm around her back, pushing her forward. "Actually come here."

Propelling her slightly, Don brought her the four feet across the way and over to where the rest of their team was at Colby's temporarily assigned cubicle. Megan moved away, taking a place between Liz and David. All four of them, Liz, David, Colby, and her, looked up at Don, waiting expectantly for what he was about to say.

Her forgiving and understanding friend smiled, looked over at Colby, and while glancing back at them every few seconds, said, "Guys, look, we've all been through a lot. And we've had each other's backs too long to start changing things around now. And Colby here's asked to stick around and I don't really want to let him go," his eyes shifted to look at each and everyone of them, and not finding what he was looking for, continued, "So welcome back, brother. 302's on my desk by eight, right?"

Megan grinned, happy that two things were now right instead of being wrong. Colby beamed, more than likely relieved to know that he didn't have to leave their family. David too looked happy, and she noted that he was dealing with the whole situation much better now.

The candies were forgotten, plastic cap sealed over, as Megan saw, from walking back to her area, Don and Liz leaving with Charlie and Amita. All four were laughing over something that only they knew and if she wasn't mistaken the two Eppes brothers were flipping a coin.

Just how far had she traveled down this path to get to this point? A Hell of a way it seemed and it wasn't over yet. Things had been wrong; it would take her a while to get over what had happened, but with Don and the others to catch her when needed, she could get there.

After tonight with forgiveness given in more than one place, Megan was for the first time in the last two months moving down the right path.

And that was exactly where she belonged.

With the right and away from the wrong.

* * *

_So instead of writing my essays for the Robertson Scholarship, I decided to work with Megan's thoughts from last night's episode. Sorry Duke University. _

_I can say that I did go back and watch the end to pick out the real lines of what was said. _

_Comments and such go in the little box down there, and are always appreciated._


End file.
